Introduction. The Infinite is not a finite enlarging itself indefinitely, but a reality that can be addressed with the word “You,” by analogy with the “you” we say to others when we know them as “other” than ourselves. From the infinite “You” come both the “I” and “you,” thus revealed as finite and infinite together.
1. Nature of Friendship
1. The friendship with Fr. Corti. Recalling his friendship with Gaetano Corti, his teacher in the seminary, Fr. Giussani dwells on the possibility of unconditional love, when a relationship is made by two individual people, that is, two selves. The word “I” designates the factors that in the beginning are common to all people, while the name of each “I” indicates their vocation and history: therefore, their name is the fulfillment of their “I.”
2. Leopardi as a friend. Authority, for example Leopardi, is the one who represents what the “I” feels better than he would be able to feel himself. Therefore, authority is an ecstasy, that is, being outside oneself: by understanding its reasons, we internalize it by becoming friends with it, by the perception of an advantage. Christ in the modern world is no longer an authority because one does not seek the reasons behind: in fact, only an analytical, never synthetic notion of reason is employed. On the contrary, “Faith is the feast of reason.”
3. Mutual help toward your destiny. Questions and answers enlighten each other. Like the Infinite, so reality cannot be reduced to its own measure: companionship is an unreduced relationship with reality increasing questions. When such a relationship occurs between people, it is friendship, “The phenomenon of friendship overcomes the sound barrier,” that is, the limit of experience, becoming a companionship guided to destiny: friends call each other back to destiny, experiencing friendship as obedience: one’s self affirms the other to affirm itself.
4. The nature of Being is communion. The dogma of the Trinity explains the reason why the more human beings affirm others the more they affirm themselves. If Being is one, the reason of religious demand is lack, but if it is Trinitarian—that is, a dramatic relationship—it is attraction. The relationship with the Mystery therefore depends on His communicating Himself: it is up to man to recognize Him, ask Him and imitate Him. Pretension in relationships is abolished, which is the elimination of the distinction between the individual and the other.
2. On Preference
5. Preference as obedience. To say “I believe in You” means to say “I am chosen here and now”: to start from the relationship that most corresponds here and now—inexhaustible newness—revives the taste of being as a sign of Christ. This preference is an obedience because it involves recognizing and affirming another who corresponds to one’s self. Therefore, “preference is something as original as being.”
6. The paradoxes of preference. Companionship is the method chosen by Christ to make Himself known: we must ask that He become a sign of it. This dynamic has paradoxical aspects: Christ prefers some to be known by all; at the same time, through preference we learn to love all; companionship and preference are the ultimate source of joy and sacrifice: a sacrifice that is love.
7. Authority becomes a preference. Authority is a presence that inevitably calls back to God, either exceptionally, normally or because of the role it plays. Especially when the call is normal, it tends to become preference: a personal preference dictated by love for Christ also carries with it a sentimental preference. When you recognize Christ, you are possessed by Him and possess all of reality, with a detachment within, “you totally possess the other when you let go of something with sacrifice.”
8. Preference brings a sense of time. If the “I” attempts to define itself outside its vocation, it eventually falls into abstractness, for it is through it that it becomes an element of the temple. Time, in fact, becomes a temple in an encounter of friendship that communicates its meaning and, therefore, stands as a preference. Friendship is the paradigmatic experience of the love for Christ.
9. From preference, one people. Just as it is hard to understand that our work is to follow the work of Another continuously, so there is hostility toward the idea of preference, because it means affirming the first aspect of being that emerges in experience. Starting from preference, instead, other preferential relationships arise, creating a companionship and a people. Through the encounter (preference) with the companionship, one comes to recognize Christ.
3. The experience of “you”
10. Saying “you” is asking. One can say “you” only to those who fulfill the “I”: it is the “you” to Christ which implies the “you” of those to whom He has revealed Himself. The unity of the “I” is generated by saying “you”; and out of this comes the unity of companionship, which in turn saves the unity of the “I”. Human beings are created free, that is, capable of recognizing “You”: this is naturally expressed as demand, but the fact that the dynamic is not corrupted is a grace. The maturity of freedom is recognizing that everything is grace, in other words, it is loving.
11. Affirming the other to affirm yourself. In the affirmation of the other, made true by sacrifice, the “I” affirms itself. This is the responsibility, primarily to the You of Christ, which also makes one accept the You of the other: in fact, it is possible to love the other only by respecting his or her destiny. Unity is made possible by the common destiny of the “I” and “you,” who have different paths to get there. The foundation of this dynamic is the fact that in order to affirm Himself God affirmed man, by giving him his being: freedom is therefore played out in freely affirming the positivity of being.
12. Being told “you”—the discovery of yourself. The “I” discovers itself by being told “you” in a moving way. Therefore, the content of the “I” coincides with the decision of freedom to know and love what is true, that is, a “you.” The experience of the “You” of Christ makes you available to the other and lets you grasp their availability to yourself, creating the friendship that endures all, conscious of participating in the cross of Christ.
13. The supreme sign of the Mystery. The word “you” is the supreme sign of the Mystery, that is, of Christ: the ultimate image of that sign is the spousal “you.” Asking is the original expression of the relationship with the you. Formalism, instead, is treating someone “well” without affection, affirming a principle instead of loving a presence. Formalism judges the person, while those who start from Christ judge the act in welcoming the person: only this look of mercy (first and foremost on the self) takes into account all factors.
14. The dawning of “we”. “You” is something unexpected whereby, if recognized, the “I” becomes true. “We” springs from “you,” for true friendship opens to all. This human experience is the dawning of love to the “you” of Christ, which places humanity in history as part of His body. To give oneself totally to God for mankind is to live virginity and, consequently, fruitfulness.
4. The morality arising from profound sympathy
15. Profound sympathy (1). In friendship, obeying because it is the right thing to do is moralistic; obeying just because you like doing so is something that enslaves you and it won’t last. Saint Peter obeyed Jesus because, by recognizing that He is true, a profound sympathy arose. Moral effort starts from this attachment and expresses itself as identification. Thus, the law of living is not doing, but loving.
16. Profound sympathy (2). One recognizes what is true as it is something existing, but—still more deeply—to let it be an instrument of love to the other. “Friendship is the place where love for the destiny of another is an important part of living together”: starting from this, however mysterious, and not from the need to adhere to what is true makes you more moral (see Jn 21). The morality that arises from profound sympathy unfolds from the initial fullness of an encounter: that is why it has memory as its ultimate remark. In such a dynamic there is no difference between loving God and loving the other.
17. Profound sympathy (3). Preference results from the amazement of what is true and assirting. Affirming what is true is gratuitous, because the only reason behind this amazement is the evidence of a conformity to one’s heart. People are afraid of this amazement of what is true when something bad and strange leads them to hate themselves: but self-hatred cannot compete with the amazement of what is true. From amazement comes the work of vigilance, to continuously empathize with the presence that has revealed itself (memory).
5. Epilogue
18. Relationship with Mystery. Mystery is not a finite enlarging itself indefinitely, but a reality that cannot be imagined. To avoid reducing it to one’s own measure, one must use the most meaningful word for human beings, “you.” Saying “you” to those you love, in fact, introduces a respect for something incommensurable. “You” being said to God implies saying “you” to the other, and vice versa: the “you” said to the other, therefore, gives fullness as the supreme sign of the true You. Living reality as a sign depends on the consciousness of the “I”: therefore, no circumstance can prevent the “I” from being provoked as intelligence and freedom.
